Perfect– having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to
What is the perfect moment?
Is it when you finally saved enough, when you become a college graduate, go on a trip to your favorite place, or is it when you finally get your own home?
I’ve waited for the perfect moment several times in life and still find it’s something I do. My need for perfection would also be the very thing that hindered me. The obsession of wanting everything to be perfect always led me to delay. Until I almost had no desire to complete the endless goals in my mind. It’s been like this as long as I could remember. I’ve always needed things to be just right.
I heard a saying, “a perfectionist is a procrastinator with a mask,” and I can concur that it is true. My fear for perfection leads me to abandoning several of my ideas – even making me want to postpone this dream. Creating a blog that empowered, not only me in my healing journey, but you and anyone else also on this same odyssey. I kept thinking: I want the perfect layout, to say the right words, and for everything to fall into place perfectly. I let that hold me captive. Waiting for a sign that my concepts and what I envisioned were “good enough.”
But, that defeats my whole point because I made this blog for growth.
To show that things can be messy and to let the journey flow guiding us accordingly.
This blog you’re reading right now is helping me release this mindset. I choose to allow progress over perfection. Not only is this more freeing, but it feels more authentic this way. I want to be real with this community. I want to talk about these topics we struggle with, because it’s all a part of the process.
This is something I know we all may struggle with, but let’s try finding ways to cope with it. Dealing with the need to recognize and see when that anxiousness creeps in. To know that these moments – or that idea- doesn’t have to be ideal.
If everything was perfect then nothing would be genuine. It wouldn’t show how human and flawed we are.
The goal is to be realistic and build a true relationship with each and every one of you within this blog.
I named the catchphrase ‘‘Good Things Ahead’ not perfect things ahead. Mistakes will happen. That need for perfection will still find its way in, and it may be scary.
I know it still sneaks its way back up to me when I least expect it.
These are some tips that I have used to aid me in realizing that it’s okay to be perfectly imperfect, that may help you as well.
Not everything is in your control
If there’s one thing that’s been hard to accept is that I have no rule over as much as I think. .
It’s frightening but sometimes things tend to work out in our best interest. If I feel that need for control I plan, I write, I cook, I clean. I try to do small tasks that remind me I may not be in control of everything, but I can control these few tasks that mean a lot to me. So, next time you get that urge. Think of something you’ve been putting off, or that calms you and take control of it.
Stop comparing yourself to others
This one’s a tough one, but looking at others only egged on that need for perfection. You must stop and realize – the mirror you’re looking in will not share the same reflection of the person you are comparing yourself to. Everyone’s journey reflects differently.
Now when I start to compare, I pause and think ‘I’m happy for them.’ Also, letting myself know soon that could be me, or simply my life may not go that same direction. When you discover we are all off achieving separate destinies you will slowly stop looking for yourself in others.
Make more mistakes
Challenge yourself to turn in, post, or make something as it is. Trying a new hobby or skill can really help with this. It will show you that not everything you make – or do will be flawless. It can definitely humble you once you notice that things can turn out the complete opposite. It wounds that perfectionist in us, but intrigues the side of us that’s okay with learning something new. Even better, is seeing that slip ups will come with it!
Breathe
You will have to regulate yourself. Your mind and your body. They’ve been so used to the anxiety and negativity that surrounds our every mishap. Learn to breathe in the moment you feel you are about to spiral. Take a second and slow down. When you are calm you become more level. Leading you to feel more reassured and conscious of your actions and decisions. Just remember to breathe in the acceptance and exhale out the stress and doubts.
Mindset is everything
Our mind screams at us when things aren’t as we intended. You will have to train your mind and thoughts to refrain from panic. Don’t immediately think badly when a fault happens. Instead, think of how you can learn from this. Because without this mistake how could you have learned the right thing to do?
Let it go
Ah, the classic let it go. It always sounds so simple when it is said rather than the act of doing it. The best way to try and stick to this is once you get in your mind that mistakes are normal. You then must say to yourself, “this is out of my control.” those words right there are you letting it go. Once you accept something is no longer in your command you are already consciously releasing it.
Faith
The overall powerful guidance that has aided me is my faith. Your faith -if you identify with it- is strong in upholding the belief that we hold little to no power over our situations. There is always a higher power working in our favor, and with that it allows us to lessen our grip on the reins of control. It teaches us to know things may not always be perfect, but when you are led by faith things will always work in our favor. We just must trust in knowing that things will fall perfectly as they have been predestined.
“Walk by faith, not by sight,” 2 Corinthians 5:7
Lastly, be kind to yourself and give yourself grace. This may take time and patience.
As I’ve mentioned I still must implement all of these tips. You must put in the effort to receive the result – to become more self-aware. It is not a bad thing to be a perfectionist, but it can be tiring and draining. It’s been who I am for so long, but learning to break through this has been a breath of fresh air.
I hope you try some of these tips, while also finding new ways that help loosen the grip of needing to be perfect. If you still get that feeling ask it, What is the perfect moment?
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