The one thing that is out of our control is getting older.
The one change in our lives that is continuous. As we anticipate that one time
every year when the clock strikes 12 and suddenly we have aged a year older.
Though sometimes we may not feel as if we’ve aged any older. While sometimes it feels as if we’ve aged entirely more than we feel.
It’s such a surreal moment.
When we were younger it felt magical and we were cherished by everyone we loved.
As it truly felt like a day made entirely for you, and you alone.
It was special.
Somewhere along the line the older we became the more the tradition changed. Suddenly the magic faded less and less.
Less people began to show up, less parties, and less feeling like this specific day was all about you.
“When people grow up they forget the way… Because they are no longer gay and innocent and heartless.” – J.M. Barrie
Here Comes The Birthday Blues
I’m not sure if many can relate, but I know many of us can… the birthday blues.
And if you’re not familiar, let me explain.
The birthday blues happen the older you get and this overwhelming emotion overpowers you as your birthday approaches. The happiness that used to surround that day slowly fades and in turn we’re left with sadness.
Cue the birthday breakdown.
Instead of spending the day celebrating, you have a melt down.
Is it the Peter Pan effect? Because the magic has disappeared? Or maybe the fleeting time that comes as we age?
A day that was meant to make us feel just as significant as how it was when we first came into this world – now has lost its meaning. Or has it?
The Birthday Magic Returns
I too had forgotten that magic has to be created.
So, instead of waiting for the charm to return we must make that fantasy ourselves.
Our parents engraved in us just how unique our birthday was and now it was up to us to continue this tale. Because whether you choose to celebrate -or not- this day does mean something.
This was the day you finally made an appearance on this earth – you were born.
The older I get I’ve still found myself in the birthday blues, but for a new reason…
I am grateful, I am happy, I am alive.
Once you finally decide to reanalyze and see that this day is so much more than someone just telling you “happy birthday,” your perspective changes entirely.
I started thinking this way around 21 going into 22. I decided I no longer want to dread my day of birth. Like how I used to act so nonchalantly about it just to stop my hopes from getting let down. Now I fully embrace that day – my day.
This birthday, 25 going on 26, felt exceptionally meaningful to me. I decided I would not wait for someone to throw a celebration, I simply did it myself. It was such a joy to celebrate myself and plan a party that everyone I loved was able to attend. I was immensely overwhelmed with gratitude and adoration.
Because I did it. I had created a magical memory. Just like the one given to the younger me on her birthdays.
It encouraged me to take on 26. This new milestone, as I step deeper into my 20s. I have learned so many lessons and gained just as much wisdom. I have loved and hurt. I have found peace and happiness. I am becoming and transforming.
In honor of this new chapter, here are 25 lessons I learned by 25:
25 lessons I’m Taking Into 26
You are the biggest priority- take your time to value yourself.
Change is necessary. Even though it can be frightening – we must go through the changes in life. They help us develop and flourish into someone new as we learn and discover. We are not meant to stay the same.
Let it go. If something – or someone- is no longer serving you, you must let it go. You cannot keep holding onto the ideas of people, items, or places that no longer fit with who you are.
Take more chances. If an opportunity presents its self (and safe to do) take that chance! Take it with talking to someone new, or trying a new experience. Even take a chance on yourself!
You’ll have to find more comfort in being alone. With age means less time to spend with others due to our busy lives. So, instead of waiting, find ways to explore and find peace in doing things on your own. It will be just as exciting and fulfilling
Don’t just dream, chase your goals. It’s time to make those ideas a reality and not just an imagination. Pursue your ambitions!
Fall back in love with life. Those silly little hobbies that now mean a little more, walking new trails, or cooking new meals. Find a way to romanticize your life and fill it with intention.
Discover new passions. Try a new hobby, take a new class, or do a new side sport. It really opens up another side of yourself and pushes you to learn something new!
Surround yourself with the right people. Your friendship and partners are a reflection of you. Make sure the people you have in your life and add to your value – not hold you back. We are meant to grow and be inspired by those around us.
Your peace is non-negotiable.
Intention is everything. You need to be more intentional, and the same goes for the people that surround your life.
Respect your boundaries. If you don’t have set boundaries, make sure you establish them. Your boundaries help you deter anyone from manipulating or taking advantage of you. They are set to make you feel comfortable, safe, and respected.
Process those unresolved emotions. Navigate through your feelings and listen to them. Don’t let them linger. Make sure you give your emotions more validation instead of ignoring them – or pushing them aside.
Gratitude. Some things can be taken for granted, but truly look around you. See how far you’ve come and how much you’ve accomplished.
Be present. You may think you are behind, but you are right where you’re meant to be.
Love will come. The companionship with another person can be beautiful. Although, that is not all our life is measured to. Don’t wait on love. It will come when it’s ready.
Travel when you can. There’s nothing like the adventure of seeing a new city or state. It opens our eyes to the world, and fills you with a renewed spirit. Travel more, travel when you can.
Others opinions are just that – their opinions. At times another view point can be necessary, but you also have to learn to lean on your own understanding as well.
Do more of what makes you happy. Your happiness is so important.
Live in the now, you are alive!
Speak your mind. Tell others how you feel and let your thoughts be known.
The past should stay in the past. It urges you to stay in the what ifs, but you can’t move forward if you keep looking back. Keep pushing forward.
Stay true to who you are- your values, your ideas, your passions
Mistakes will happen
Trust in yourself through it all. Be your own biggest support.
These lessons have guided me through my years and continue to as I make my way into another year. The older we get the biggest lesson of all is finding our way and ourselves. Creating magic in the mundane of our adolescence and adulthood as we navigate our lives different avenues. Discovering the joy that used to surround our birthday. Finding that same happiness that lived in us when we were younger.
Realizing we were the magic we’d been looking for.
We’d dimmed through the years and ages until we trace our way back to ourselves. And once that light was regained, we dare not let anyone blow our candles out. We continue to glow – vibrant and bright. Though we may flicker, we do not let that light fade.
I hope you remember the importance of your birthday. I encourage you to celebrate with others, alone, loudly, or silently.
Take back the day that is yours.
May you always make time for yourself and pour into you. Check in with your mind and make sure it is heard. Watch your health and continue to fuel your body with the proper nutrients. Fill yourself with self-love. You are worthy and you are deserving. This body has taken you so far and you still have so much more to go.
What a beautiful thing it is to age and continue evolving into ourselves.
You are worth celebrating.
“One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming.” – Morgan Harper Nichols
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