Let’s talk about how comparison really is the thief of joy.
We compare ourselves to others all the time. Wishing you had a love like them, her hair, his car, and it’s never ending.
Why can’t we just realize that what we have or where we’re at is exactly where we need to be?
Sometimes we truly don’t mean to compare, but it happens. Someone announces they’re one step closer to achieving their degree -or buying a house- and suddenly you think about all of your accomplishments. Wondering “do I have any as big as that?”
It’s so easy to catch a glimpse of someone’s life and automatically assume they are doing far better than us. Even though all we see is those tiny little moments of one another’s life – but it’s just enough to contrast our differences. Just enough to make us over analyze our own lives and the choices we’ve made to where we are now.
I find this happening to me, and with this day and age of social media it doesn’t make it any easier. We are shown perfectly crafted people and their version of the world. It can be empowering and yet still spark a feeling of falling behind.
It creates this spiraling web in your mind. Questioning every step you’ve made in life.
Did I miss a step? Was there a detour and I failed to notice? Maybe I ignored a sign?
The truth is comparison will always lie within us. Making it harder to not picture yourself in someone else’s shoes. So, you must remind yourself they simply are not you and you are not them. They may have stumbled through unseen challenges and faced many obstacles to get to where they are now. Sometimes it can seem so easy and simple from the outside, but we have no idea how hard it has been for others to gain this steady ground.
Just as I’m sure you can say the same for yourself and all that you have overcome.
Your guide led you on a far different path than that person you compare yourself too. We were all meant to evolve differently. Each person is distinct in their own way, goals, passions, etc.- all uniquely finding its way to us.
It’s exhausting comparing yourself to others. As you pick yourself apart layer by layer trying to figure out why “that couldn’t have been you” or why you’re “so behind.” It makes you feel unworthy, you lose a little confidence, and sometimes you lose some of your spark.
So, let’s talk about some ways to change that narrative:
Remind yourself that all you are seeing is only half a version of someone. Whereas you know
your whole life and accomplishments – you only know a fraction of this person who seems to “have it all together.”
Life is not a race – I know we’ve heard this before- but it’s true. There is no finish line. We are all simply living and discovering- it’s all of our first time.
Let it encourage you
Instead of feeling “behind” or “not good enough” use this comparison and let it inspire you. Did that person do something you’ve always wanted to do? Did they just give you a new hobby to try? Are they encouraging you to save more money?
Don’t let comparison bring you down, use it to continue to build yourself up.
Allow yourself to continue growing and learning from others!
Take a break
Sit with yourself. Take a deep breath to calm the swirling thoughts and fears. Reflect and think about your own journey. About how far you’ve come and how you plan to continue becoming the best version of you. Repeat this mantra:
I am not them.
I have come so far
I am still becoming
I am own a different path
Setbacks are normal
If a comparison still tries to set you back – mentally or physically. Just remember setbacks are normal. It is a part of the process for each and every one of us. Life doesn’t always go the way we planned it. Sometimes we get burnt out. There is no harm in taking a break in order to reset and prioritize your needs. You must continue at your own pace. Listen to your mind, your body, and your heart. They will tell you exactly which step to take next.
Unplug for a while
I can attest some of my comparisons come mainly from online. So, when I feel the tug of thoughts start to twist in my mind. I know it’s time to log off.
Go outside and take a walk, pick back up the book you’ve held off, or try something new. It’s a good way to remind yourself that your life also holds meaning- because it does 🙂
Even if the life you have doesn’t look like someone else’s it’s still yours to make the most of it.
Accept where you are
You cannot rush or determine the outcome of your path. Looking at others will make you miss all the wonderful things that are happening in your own journey. Although, we wish there was a clock to speed up time, or ways to reach our goals faster. We are also meant to take in the moments and lessons. Accept that you are where you are, embrace that you have come this far, and know that more good things will come your way.
Take off their shoes
Now take their shoes off. You never even looked to see if they were even the right size, or if they even were the type of shoe you’d wear! You just slipped your foot in hoping to see what it felt like. Without checking them in the mirror, without checking if they had your size, without even making a purchase. Because that’s what it’s like to compare – it’s a silent thief.
Our differences are what makes us all who we are.
There is no need to be discouraged or unmotivated when seeing how far others have come within their own lives. We are meant to inspire, to give and take from one another’s knowledge, and to create the lives we desire for ourselves!
And I truly know how easy it is to compare, but you are one of a kind.
You are rooted in a completely different soil and bloom your own kind of flowers.
It is beautiful to be different. It is beautiful to be you.
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